FFXIV Write: 09 – Yawn
noun
http://www.dictionary.com
an opening; open space; chasm
There is nothing to fear but fear itself. A proverb Katja had heard innumerable times in her life from sailors down on the docks, to passing mercenaries in the Carline Canopy and the Drowning Wench, even her own mother had told it to her a time or two when she was small and afraid of things like the Monster Under the Bed.
What defined fear, though? It seemed an amorphous thing that could change at-will, never truly letting her solidify within her mind exactly what it was she feared. Or, perhaps, she feared many things. She’d never considered herself a coward, but there were many times she balked at certain situations, her fear yawning wide like an impassable chasm.
Now was one such time.
“Katja…?” T’Shira looked back at her in concern, the Seeker offering a hand back to her friend. The shallows of the beach at Costa del Sol lapped around her bare ankles as she stood in the surf, Katja’s hesitation drawing her attention. “A-are you all r-right?”
The rushing sound of the sea like a dragon’s roar in the back of Katja’s mind as she shook her head, toes digging into the sand as she stood just at the limit of the tide line. Her vivid green eyes looked out over the broad, turquoise expanse of the sea — a feeling of dread shivering its way up her spine. The maw of fear yawned wide, teeth piercing her to her very soul as she took a step backward. There were some battles in life she knew she could not win.
“Katja, w-wait…!” T’Shira exclaimed, stepping out of the water to approach her friend and take one of Katja’s hands into both of her own. “Just — don’t look at the water. Look at me.” She tugged on Katja’s hand for emphasis, her voice filled with a quiet confidence. “Focus on me. Focus on my voice. Don’t be afraid.”
The little red miqo’te’s ears tilted backward against her hair, sea-born zephyrs tousling her ponytail and fretting with her bangs. If there was possibly one thing greater than her fear, it was her obstinate nature. Don’t be afraid. It pricked at her pride, evoking the mule-like stubbornness she could often display. Perhaps a calculated statement on T’Shira’s part, but it was enough to pause Katja’s retreat.
“Th-that’s it. Another s-step now…” T’Shira said in quiet encouragement, drawing Katja forward one step at a time, the tanned miqo’te’s one hand held in both of her pale ones. “Another. Y-you’re going to t-touch w-w-water now…”
Costa del Sol’s waters were warm this time of year, so it wasn’t quite a chilling shock as she might have gotten in cooler months. As the water cascaded into the divot her foot made in the sand, filling it like one might fill a cup, Katja paused. She could feel the fear rising from the pit of her stomach again, threatening to coil around her like a python and squeeze the life out of her. A stubborn shake of her head was her response. She couldn’t back down now.
“Y-yes, good…” Her raven-haired companion cooed as she drew Katja forward another step, then another. The water now began to lap at her ankles, but T’Shira wasn’t content to stop there. Onward, the young scholar drew her friend. Katja became dimly aware of the water coming up to her shins and then her knees. Another pause.
Her world dissolved to the color of T’Shira’s eyes and the timbre of T’Shira’s voice. Both became as a siren song, luring her onward, giving her just enough courage to take the next step. It seemed to take an eternity, but eventually Katja stood waist-deep in the water, but that was where she hit the limit of her courage. Despite the warmth of the water, she stood shivering, wrapping her one free arm around herself as she trembled.
T’Shira released her hand, moving over to rub her hands up and down her friends’ biceps. “Th-that’s f-far enough f-for t-t-today.” She said, nodding. “L-let’s g-g-get you b-back to sh-shore.”
Katja nodded numbling, following T’Shira as she led the way back to the sand and safety. However, as she went Katja looked back over her shoulder at the yawning expanse of the sea. This was but the first step to conquering this fear. She would win, someday.
Just not today.